Loneliness

I came upon a very sad story this morning which said that, last year, 388 persons in Quebec died without their bodies being requested by a next of kin for funerals. Apparently, there has been a 27.6% increase of this phenomenon between 2008 and 2010. It is caused by various factors including the aging population and broken family ties in the case for instance of youths living on the streets and people with mental health problems. I find this very sad and I do hope that I’m not too alone and lonely when I die.

This news made me reflect on loneliness. I hear about loneliness a lot when I do my volunteering in a suicide prevention help phone line. Sometimes people are really alone. Sometimes, they have drained their families and friends so bad with their problems that the family and friends moved away from them purposely. Sometimes, they just feel alone. When you go a little further, you can help them realise that they do have people around them that care about them. Sometimes they just worry that they will bother them, but they don’t check if they’re right.

Now...this is not something that I admit easily because it makes me feel vulnerable and I don’t like it...but I feel lonely too sometimes, especially at a particular time of the month J. I’m sure it happens to many of us in this individualistic society of ours, we just don’t like to admit it. What do I do when I feel lonely? I try to get rid of the feeling: sometimes I will call up a friend to see them, “sometimes” I will go for a run...although I do tend to forget about this coping mechanism J, sometimes I will go out to a restaurant...sometimes it will be good food, sometimes it will be a bunch of crap...sometimes I will go see a movie, sometimes I will put up the volume of my music really loud, sometimes I will go and buy a book or borrow one at the library, sometimes I will just cry and feel sorry for myself, sometimes I will send a nasty email to someone. Hey, I never said that all my coping mechanisms were good ones, but they are useful and the feeling doesn’t usually last too long.

About the “calling a friend to see them” solution, sometimes I do it because I feel lonely, but luckily I mostly do it because I just want to spend time with my friends. But there is something which I don’t get and which you should probably know about me if you want to stay my friend. I don’t understand why some people never seem to call you for anything even when they seem to enjoy the time with you. I mean...really...I just don’t get it. I get it if they don’t like spending time with you and if they’re not interested in knowing what’s going on with you, but that’s often not the case...they just don’t call for whatever reason: they’re too busy; they have too many friends, whatever! I do have a bad tendency to stop calling these people after a while, not because I don’t like spending time or talking with them, not because I have that many friends to spare, but because I just get tired of always being the one who call...That being said I am grateful for the friends I do have and for the friends I have had in the past...even those which I don't call anymore...Have a good day friends!